This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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