your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
