It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
