yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
