we're blogging at a bar
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
