I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
