all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize