Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
