drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
