I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
