so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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