I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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