but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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