After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize