she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
