Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think I am morally bankrupt
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
