absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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