I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize