Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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