Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
