I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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