It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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