You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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