I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
