He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
