Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
