I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
