I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Randomize
