...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
