My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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