When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
