I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
BRING THE BAGELS
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
