i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
