Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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