woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
