i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I can't put those talents on a resume
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
