in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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