So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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