Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
