all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize