lets start a swedish sibling band together
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize