That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
