He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
