Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
