My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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