He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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