And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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