Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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