Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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