I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
