i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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