My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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