He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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