Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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