The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I fill condoms, not promises.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize