he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
