Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
