Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
