I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
