I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
