i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
