My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
