Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
