just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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