Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
