chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
