Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
