Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
