Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
