he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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